Quarantanglement

I think X and I are getting along better than ever during quarantine.  I think the basic reason is because we have to.

It used to be I’d spend a lot of the workweek here alone, trying to make things neat and tidy, annoyed at things that he left untidy or that just will never be tidy while he lives here.  I’d also be simultaneously annoyed when he wouldn’t come home till late, not caring about me; and annoyed when he DID come home before late, wrecking my solitude.

Now he’s just always there.  I don’t have to adjust between being alone and not being alone, and I can just plain give up on tidiness.  The dining room is an example.  It’s his home office now, and his computer and stuff are there on one end of the table.  No picture-perfect dining room with a vase of tulips in the center of the table for me.  So I don’t even try.  So I end up less frustrated.

Also he is less tired and more happy.  Less tired from not commuting.  Happier, I don’t know why; being less tired, for one, but also, I think he kind of thrives on uncertain crises just like this one.  He knows he can’t do anything about it, so he just whistles through the shitstorm as best he can.