I have no idea how this disjointed mess became a classic of children’s literature. ( )
I’m so depressed. I feel like I pissed away these past two weeks. The windows project is never going to end. It’s raining. We ordered and paid for hay that hasn’t been delivered. Milkweed has been off his feed for going on two weeks. I don’t want to do my live video tomorrow. Warm weather is over. I can’t sleep anymore without chemicals. I have to go back to work Monday morning. My work iPhone locked me out. and Oh! we live in a failed state and soon we will all know more & more people who have gotten seriously ill or died from our constant companion the virus.
I need to quit Facebook and I need to quit the news. I MEAN IT.
I asked my friends, if any of them started talking about the debate, to please not talk to me about it. And of course they obliged. But when I tried to look at my FB feed that’s all it was! It’s all national politics. I wish there were no such thing as cross-posting. If everyone had to think up their own things whenever they wanted to share, there’d be so much less talk about anything.
National politics is a dumb game. I don’t care if I’m called a coward or willfully ignorant. It’s such a stupid shitshow. How little of it actually trickles down to affect our lives? I’m not saying I won’t vote. I’m saying I’m not tuning into the soap opera.
And I know the fault’s with me. I look at FB or the news telling myself I won’t read anything about Trumpass, but I do. I realize it’s an addiction. That’s why I’m trying to hold myself accountable here.
A chronicle of Beatle trivia for the year 1969. There was a lot more about the business angle than i was prepared to digest, and McNab does very little to clarify exactly what is going on (who the hell is “Nems”? what exactly is ‘Northern Songs”?). I had little choice but to glaze over during some of the business dealing discussions; I TRIED to figure out the answers to my questions by using the index, thinking it was just my lazy inattentiveness that was the problem; but no, it’s him. In fact he never really introduces Nems or Northern Songs properly; I guess we’re just supposed to know who they are. I get that John, Paul, George, and Ringo need no introduction, and it was fine to throw us right in the middle of January 1969 with little backstory insofar as the personal angle. But I really felt like I had missed some prequel volumes.
It was also repetitive. E.g. I get what a great song “Something” was.
I learned plenty of fun facts though.
– The ending medley on ABBEY ROAD, probably my favorite Beatle “song”, was recorded the week I was being born.
– “Because” is in 9-part harmony. Because they did not have 9 tracks available to tape on, John, Paul, & George had to sing three of the parts together on one track. They had not had to harmonize like that together in years, but they could still do it, even though they hated each other.
– George recorded the guitar solo to “Something” on the same track with the orchestra.
– John wanted “Cold Turkey” to be a Beatle song and actually thought it had great single potential.
– “I Want You (She’s So Heavy)” which I always liked and Xopher always hated (“It just goes on forever”) just goes on forever because it’s actually two different takes back to back. John couldn’t decide which one he wanted so he used both of them.
I love learning tidbits about what went on behind the actual recording of the soundtrack to my brain. ( )
A teen-age boy loses his lover, his chemistry teacher, and inherits his journals, which give us all the backstory of his pursuit of the secret elixir of eternal life. It’s always nice to read a book about scientists rather than more writers and writers thinly disguised as artists. This book had a lot of action and mystery, which isn’t what I was expecting from the beginning. The plot seemed to hold together well, though I did get confused about a lot of things, so don’t hold me to that. In the end, though, I didn’t really care very much. ( )
I’m feeling some eerie parallels with the Hard Times I experienced from 2012 – 2015.
Then: While my father was dying, I felt stuck in suspended animation, unable to truly enjoy much of anything, seriously afraid I’d run out of money. Practically speaking I felt unable to leave New England or the tri-state area, afraid what would happen if I did, sure that if I traveled far, THAT would be the trigger.
Now: Once again, thanx COVID, I can’t travel. I’m afraid to leave New England or go anywhere on an overnight.
Then: I started getting mouth pain. It wasn’t the most excruciating pain in the world, but it was constant, unless you count seconds or minutes where it would be gone and it would be like suddenly noticing silence; and you’d be like, “Hey, I feel pretty good, could it finally be…” nope.
And it was impervious to anything – with one strange exception, which was gum chewing. But gum would get tasteless, my jaw would get tired, and you can’t chew while you’re trying to fall asleep. Nothing else helped. No medicine, no position, not hot water or cold, not pressure or relaxation, it would just always there, there, there,
Now: I’ve got these headaches. They’re in my sinus areas; but I don’t have any stuffy or runny nose, just headaches. They aren’t excruciating, they’re just constant. (I haven’t tried gum.) Except for some seconds or minutes where I notice they are gone, and I’m like, “Hey, this feels pretty good…” then whoomp. They’re impervious to anything. Sometimes my old pal the mouth pain comes along with them.
None of it usually keeps me from sleeping. But gaining consciousness is a strange feeling. I slowly wake up, and there’s no pain at first, but there comes a consciousness threshold where the pain all kicks in again. Sigh, a nice welcome back to reality.
Then: My marriage was in its worst shape ever for a while there. It was, until now, hard to remember exactly how haywire it was; but I was miserable, and it was like X was just a mirror of me. We were unhappy and angry with each other all the time. I started to wonder why the hell we were together.
Now: X and I blew up at each other last night. Now I remember what that period was like. I’m so unhappy, there’s a weight on me, I cannot be happy with him, and he is not the type that can rise to the occasion and carry us forward when I’m down – far from it.
I’m just seeing these parallels and I’m scared.
Can knowledge & hindsight & wisdom & self-awareness save me from going There again?
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Tytania 