I can’t wait to go shopping. Wherever I want. Slowly.
I know, everyone else be all like, “I can’t wait to hug people!” And I’m all, “I can’t wait to shop somewhere with a better selection of whole wheat pasta.”
BECAUSE I’M A BAD PERSON, OK? We knew that, from a long time ago – I have the merit badge right here. And the business card.
I had actually been meditating on the following for some time before coming across the pointer to this research paper. I like to visualize the broad swaths of the planets where humans don’t live or else constitute a mere blip. Mountains, hills, deserts, national parks, tundra, HUGE tracts of land… Imagine the trees, the mountains, the photosynthesizing biosphere as the default, and us as the exception, a small collection of nattering primates that the great ancients suffer to live out our brief puny lives here and there among the constantly growing and shifting greenery.
Now here’s some figures to help you.
Fry: It’s no use. I wanna cry but I’m just too macho.
Bender: I’ll make you cry, buddy! You’re a pimple on society’s ass and you’ll never amount to anything.
Fry: What do you mean? I was Emperor of a whole planet.
Bender: Good point. But here’s a disturbing reminder; everyone you knew or loved in the 20th century is dead.
Fry: These things happen.
Bender: Okay, Fry, grab a Kleenex for this one, ’cause there’s no God and your idiotic human ideals are laughable!
Fry: Phew! That’s a load off my mind.