Why Do I Follow Recipes?

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It’s six o’clock, I enter the kitchen and take out the recipe for black-eyed peas I had printed out – the source was “Forks Over Knives,” a vegetable-forward publication.  I begin slavishly following the directions because that’s how I roll.  I find myself spooning tomato paste and other ingredients into a pot of water and dried black-eyed peas that have soaked since last night.  Then I realize… tomato paste?  You’re not supposed to try to cook dried beans with tomatoes or anything acid!!!  They won’t cook!!!  Those IDIOTS.  Now look what I’ve done.

I let them cook for an hour, finding other stupidities throughout the recipe as I looked harder.  Why is there only salt at the end!?  What fat am I supposed to “grill” these onions & mushrooms in, anything!?  Etc.

The beans did pretty much cook, though they certainly weren’t creamy.  I took it upon myself to salt and spice everything in sight and add butter to the onion/mushroom thing.

No more stupid recipes!  Don’t I know how to cook by now?!

 

 

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