Warning, Bad Person ahead. I remember feeling this way with my own parents. Newly grateful that I never had children. Because I can be sure I will never, ever inflict this kind of thing on anyone.

Oh Tytania, you are going to grow old alone. Fuck yeah.

A little greenhouse Xopher has going in the mudroom. Wasn’t planned. Just things here and there he wanted to keep alive.

We survived the infamous, nefarious, notorious Burlington, Vermont, after dark!

On the left is a Carolina Wren. A new one for us this year. Hope he’s not caught unawares by Vermont winter.

I feel such a sense of peace today. Or call it ennui or bummed or lazy or uninspired or unenergetic – or call it peaceful.

It’s a judgment.

New expensive beefy tree stand! We turned our backs and the tree fell down again.

I’m really taking this to heart.

Look at the magnitude of the problem I’m trying to “fix.” Justifiable grieving and a lifelong depression? You cannot fix this. However much of yourself you pour into it will never, ever be enough. There is in fact very, very little that I control in this world beyond the reach of my little fingers. You can only make the best of whatever is within that tiny little reach.

So, what am I willing to do? Decide what I can and am willing to do for this person. Do it, and make peace with it.

Good advice from my brother:

If there’s something you don’t want to do, but you feel you should, but you really don’t want to, but you feel you really have to…

either, a) Don’t do it. And make peace with that. or,

b) Do it. And make peace with that.

Do not: Do it, and still feel bad about it!

Because that’s what I do, because it never feels like enough, but it will never be enough.

These crackers are so thin, so pale, so devoid of flavor, I don’t feel like you should top them or toast them, I feel like you should consecrate them.