by Mary Roach
The unifying theme is supposed to be “when nature breaks the law.” This loose idea combines stories of investigating wild animal attacks, deterring birds from eating sunflower seed fields, controlling monkeys in India, controlling rodents in your own home, and myriad other digressions. Mary Roach is funny, so it’s all good.
“I have read the 1978 paper by researchers… who tried to warn away white-tailed deer by erecting roadside plywood cutouts of deer rear ends with tails a-flagging. On some… an actual deer tail had been nailed in place. Sadly, because who wouldn’t want to see our nation’s highways lined with plywood deer asses with decomposing tails, none of it worked.”
Then the story of “fecal bags” attached to goat butts (no, she’s not always scatological, but, well, she often is)… a harness was designed with no fewer than 19 leather straps that allowed goats to rear up on their hind legs. “In a minor setback, several of the nonharnessed goats, being goats, ate the leather straps off their pals.” I had to include that quote.
I’m pro-wildlife but I find a little tiresome heroic efforts to get vermin out of your home without actually harming any critters. I do not wish to inflict cruelty. When she says glue traps ought to be banned, because “a professional pest control person should be checking the traps daily and humanely killing any rodent that’s been caught… what homeowner is going to tackle that?” We do, actually. We use glue traps because they work, and my husband, bless him, humanely dispatches anything we catch, always within half a day. She admits herself that snap traps very often fail to kill immediately and humanely, so what’s the diff? But the complaints about have-a-heart style traps where you release the critters somewhere far away – well, then they don’t know the territory and they get eaten. OK, as if in their own territory, they live to a ripe old age enjoying Lawrence Welk and complaining their children never call. It’s a thing-kill-thing world out there, people!
I was pretty disgusted to hear how Big Sunflower kept trying to kill blackbirds that would feast in their sunflower fields. They said blackbirds were responsible for the loss of about 2% of their crop. 2%? You can’t give 2% for wildlife? You have to kill and bomb and poison and kill myriad other inoffensive birds too in the process? 2% of your crop, for a healthy blackbird population and all the other little tweeters too. Cmon!
Back about getting pests out of your home. (It’s a sore spot with me.) She had a rat in her walls. A rat! So instead of doing anything lethal, she so virtuously had the pest guy come over, figure out where he was getting in, and plug all the entrances with steel wool. Problem solved! Sure! Oh, it’s so simple! Sure, just go around putting a little steel wool here and there. I wish it were that easy to keep things out.
Tytania 